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We may or may not be hanging out still tomorrow. . . He's gonna call me.
Got my rook pierced.
Went to the doctor, I'll write more about it later, it's a lot to type and I just realized how tired I am.
Boys are so Hot and cold! So, I texted Alex, and was like, "Wish! It's 11:11!" and he texted me back " So i just got done looking at all the prom pictures. . . I must say! You looked GREAT! I don't mean to sound Creepy."
Then I said thanks,and we talked about how he looked nice too, and then he was like, I still have the flower you pinned on my jacket. and how The corsage he fixed of mine was more from the heart than the original. . . blah blah blah. I asked him what he did that day, and he told me and then he was like "Wanna know something weird that I found out today though?" and I said, "Yes please" and he was like "Jake and Tyler both have girlfriends! I'm the only one without a girlfriend! How strange."
So I guess What I'm asking is. . . Am i totally ridiculous to think that those are Signs?
I went to Orientation. it was fun, Just exhausting, I hate being herded around like that. but i decided that I'm going to really try to be a nutrition major. I Am going to stay undeclared, and take a nutrition class, just to make sure but That seeeeeeeems like What I really want to do.
Here's my schedule for next semester:
MONDAY:
10:00-10:50
BSPM102 (BUGZZZZ)
2:00-2:50
Nutrition
4:00-5:15
Theatre
TUESDAY:
12:30-1:45
College Comp.
3:00-4:40
Legends of FoCo
(seminar)
WEDNESDAY:
10:00-10:50
BSPM102 (BUGZZZZ)
2:00-2:50
Nutrition
4:00-5:15
Theatre
THURSDAY:
12:30-1:45
College Comp.
FRIDAY
10:00-10:50
BSPM102 (BUGZZZZ)
2:00-2:50
Nutrition
Yep.
I got my glasses today. They're awesome, and I can see.
I'm on the verge of giving up on Alex, I have like two months left. Nothing's gonna happen.
I think I'm gonna watch Star Wars in Joe's basement, which is cool since i have a friend crush on him.
I hate my shitty job.
I need a break from my life.
That's it.
I cut my bangs this morning. I think they look good. I like cutting my own hair--then I have no one to blame but myself, which minimizes obnoxious, insecure complaining.
Last night I accidentally caught Dexter's pants on fire while we were roasting marshmallows around Emily's fire pit. Just the fringe on his knee where that hole is. It didn't burn his skin, but it scared him. which is understandable. haha. It was way funny afterwards though.
Alex. I pocket called him AGAIN. This is getting ridiculous! I mean really, WTF phone!? it ONLY calls him too. He probably thinks I'm doing it on purpose by now. I SO am not though. Anyways, after that happened, we were texting a bunch about his guitar skillllzzz, and how he said he'll play me a song that he wrote, because since I didn't know him when he wrote it, I won't know what it's really about and so it won't be so embarrassing. It's PROBABLY about Molly. Oh well. He gets his license on Thursday, so maybe then he'll stop being such a douche about hanging out. you know, or maybe not. maybe I just need to drop it. . . you know, or not. Shit I dunno. I've got so much other shit on my mind lately, to be honest. Plus, When I like people a lot, my body gets all crazy and decides to give me basically permanent butterflies, and I feel sick all the time. It's sort of a suckfest.
Hanging out with Adrienne and Jenny on Wednesday was totally bomb. It's so nice to see her! Well, them. Plus that Glow in the dark Star shirt is totally bitchin. as well as my " MATH! More powerful than (superman symbol)" shirt. THANKS ADRIENNE! I love it when we thrift and you find awesome things for me. : )
I have to do all of my stuff I have to do before orientation soon. I go up the 24th and 25th for orientation and registration. Class suggestions at all CSU folks? I'm pretty sure I'm gonna take Spanish, and Maybe the Bugs class for my science credit? I dunno yet though.
Alex is back from Nebraska now. I'm gonna wait for him to ask to hang out. I always suggest the plans yo! He'll probably be hanging out with Molly today since she gets her wisdom teeth out. : ( how sad for her. I Don't really know When I have to get mine out. . . It was supposed to be last summer, then winter break, then spring break. . . so probably soon? I don't wanna go to the dentist to find out. I fucking hate the dentist. More than anything.
I DO finally get to go to the optometrist, which is AWESOME. I always think, gee maybe my vision problems are all in my head, I mean, I DID really really REALLY want glasses the last time I took the test, BUT THEN I put on Dexter's glasses, and my mind is blown at the things I SHOULD be able to see! I think I'm going to get some Big awesome glasses. I'm stoked.
I also Have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Thursday. about my medication. which i'm still unsure about sometimes. That'll be something I'll have to deal with next year I guess. . .
It's really hard to address the following problem without sounding really conceited, but I'm going to try. Lately, everyone wants to hang out with me HARD. Like all the time. I should be really flattered, but really, I'm just overwhelmed. Even when I was really young, like three years old, If I was getting too overwhelmed by attention, I would just go to my room and slam the door, and sit in there, basically all day. I can't deal with people wanting me all the time you know? Plus it sort of pisses me off, because really, There were plenty of times this year, when NO ONE wanted to hang out ever! And I felt like such a lame-o. Then the last week of school, everyone realizes I'm leaving and loves me? It's like they only want what they know they can't have. especially people who I never really knew that well. . . They're all trying to create these totally epic friendships with me, that a) we don't have time to develop and b) they probably only want it because it's a little unattainable. Also, Some of my good friends are becoming really really possessive. Like on my last day of school, Shannen apparently got really mad when Alaina and Hannah were talking about how much they'll miss me next year, because "they don't know you like I do, and they have no idea how hard it is. They always talk about you like you're they're freaking best friend or something, but they hardly know you." I was really weirded out. I mean, when did my friendship become so glorified? Hannah, Alaina and Shannen all almost resent eachother when I hang out with one over the other two. I feel like I'm back in second grade when we all had to make a schedule for who could play with me at recess. Also, what a shitty time to finally blossom and come into my own. The last month of school, I finally started being who I wanted to be, and (again, not to sound superficial but) Dressing and looking the way I wanted to, and I feel like I was finally getting noticed. Things like that make me feel all conflicted and shit about graduating, espeically because I totally could've (should've?) been put into kindergarten a year later. I would be a junior right now. I think that's just my insecurities about moving away and college talking though. I think I'm so scared that I wish I wasn't leaving yet.
Angst.
My Flute teacher is all sorts of pissed off at me because I quit lessons, but honestly? Why would I pay to go to lessons if I'm not even playing next year? seems like a waste.
Been hanging out lots with Emily and Dexter lately, They are both just such good and FUN friends! We always have a really good time. Shannen and I are going to Death Cab in July. It was supposed to be me and Alex, but his parents said something about visiting his grandparents that week. He was really really bummed. Shannen was BEYOND ecstatic when I asked her though, so it'll be fun.
Speaking of Alex, Yesterday I pocket dialed him. WHOOPS. and the scary part was that I probably was talking about him when I called. haha. He said he tried real hard not to drop his eves all over my conversation once he realized I pocket dialed him. Then we started talking about college and how I have this weird fear that I won't make friends, and he was like, "NO! My friends love you! they stalked you at prom!" . . . which was a weird thing to find out. It's whatever though. We're hanging out when he gets back from Nebraska.
Lastly, We just found out my sister's got this thing goin' on with her body which if the treatment they're about to try doesn't work, they'll have to force her to go through Menopause. So, she and Matt might try to have kids Nowish. . . which I think is a bad Idea. . . I dunno. He's proposing to her on sunday I think.
right after I finished graduating, I walked out of this tunnel to go back to my seat and my mom was waiting there with the video camera, and I looked at teh camera and said, "BIG DEAL!" and then, I walked up the steps as Emily Herbert was walking down,and we had the most epic high five.
Graduating makes me wish I had a middle name like Danger or something.
Then was my party.
Alex couldn't come. he was in fort collins with his parents. he felt REALLY bad.
Considering that that was when I was going to tell him I have a big fat crush on him, I feel like it might be the universe's way of telling me to. . . NOT.
Oh well.
Grad parties straight up wore me out.
I made myself sick.
I made bank at mine. I want to go shopping.
I'm tired.
My mind is blown. I love this video so much. I could watch it over and over and over.
Graduation is tomorrow. Woah.
My parents got mm's with a picture of my 3 yr old face on them. also she got ones that say "Congrats Em!" "Way to go Big E!" and "Your Great!!!" (Yes. . . she used the wrong your, it should be you're, but She feels dumb about it already, I'm not going to even pretend it bothers me. The thought was nice enough that I hardly care. hahah)
Seriously though. That video. Rocks my world. HARD.
- Mood:Inspired
I cannot grasp this right now.
So yesterday I went to school, did generally nothing ALL day long, then went to the senior picnic.
I decided that at my graduation party I'm going to tell Alex I have a big fat crush on him.
Yesterday he sent me a text saying "Dear emily, You are SO awesome! and funny! Thanks so much for making this year so memorable. You are hands down the best senior in the school! so good job with redeeming your entire stupid ass class!" This doesn't SEEM like a big deal, HOWEVER, anyone who Knows Alex Baggett knows that he's a sarcastic ass 99.89999 percent of the time (which he basically NEVER is to me. . but Shannen says that's just a good sign). . . Then told him about how, he was the only reason I came to school yesterday. Then we talked about his mom and how she broke her leg, his brother, how when he gets his license he's going to take me to clear creek, our favorite places and how prom was the best EVER. Good lord I am enamored with that boy.
TWO.
Seems like too many.
Fuck I don't want to do my finals.
Alex signed my yearbook with a bunch of stupid sarcastic shit, and to get back at him, I signed THE NICEST yearbook signing ever. so deep and meaningful. and I know it worked because today he came up to me and was like, "That was the nicest thing I've ever read. . . makes me feel like an ASSHOLE!" haha. So cute.
He made callbacks for the musical at DSA today. so he missed the One-act he directed. bummerrrrr.
I should go to bed. I have finals tomorrow.
I am ready to move out of my house. HARD.
Alex told me he likes my ears. what. how adorable.
Shannen being with gryffin makes me really glad. they're both cool, and I like it
I haven't talked to preston REALLY in like three weeks. I needed a break from him.
Now I need a break from Dexter. He's such an oppinionated asshole sometimes. DAMN.
My Graduation party is May 22nd from 5:30 til Whenever. at my house. if you want to come. I would love to see ANY of you there. : D
So many adorable things happened with my date.
+Both of our parents were Camera happy. and he laughed through all of the pictures.
+His dad walked up to him while other couples were doing pictures, and Alex and I were talking, to show him the text Alex's older brother Jo Jo sent about prom. Then Alex showed me and it said, "Awwwwwwwww!" haha.
+He bought me a corsage, even if all of the flowers DID fall off by the time we got to the restaurant. (which he was really embarrassed about, but eventually we just kept making jokes about it.)
+We and a few other people in our group had a contest to see who could keep a spoon on our nose the longest. Also, there was another prom group on the other side of this window thing from us, and Alex and I named them all.
+ We staged a fight as we walked into the DCPA, regarding his suit, and how "GREAT! Now it looks like I have a GAY date!" Mostly because he had a pink bow tie and vest, and we talked all night about the comments his brother makes about his going to DSA next year.
+ We danced together for 90% of the songs, he danced once with Tiana and I danced with a bunch of my other friends, then we sat out a few songs when the whole room was on FIRE.
+ Eventually, he went and found the broken corsage I set down by my stuff and brought it back with a carnation he picked out of the decorations weaved in. I wore it all night.
+ Instead of grinding the WHOLE night, we danced old school some too. and he spun and dipped me and it was awesome.
+ On the last song, (some U2 Song) he was like, "Ah, boo, U2!?" and I was like, "HEY! It's the last Dance of my highschool career, don't wreck it." and so he preceded to sing the song to me in my ear.
+The music for us to exit to was "Don't Stop Believin'" and Alex and I sang it together in a dramatic fashion.
+ When we left, we got the gifts, which were these cool little picture cubes. And as I was walking back, I saw my friend Joe. I was talking to Joe about hanging out, and I gave him my phone to put his number in, and then Alex walked up and was like, "I think we're leaving," and I was like, "oh okay, hold on one second" and Joe's like "Yeah, hit me up any time, I'm down to hang out whenever you want Emily." I said thank you and as we were walking away, Alex was like, "What was that all about?" Not rude-like, just a little jealous-like. it was so cute.
+ Then we had a speedwalking race, and while he kicked my ass the whole way, he cheated and let me win.
+ Also, he's a really good hugger.
+ And He "escorted" me everywhere, and had us link arms. haha.
+ At afterprom, we layed on a gym mat for like twenty minutes just talking as I went through his wallet.
+ Alex had his parents come get him from after prom because he was SO TIRED. and when I hugged him goodbye, I was like, "Thank you so much for going with me!" and he was like, "Thank you for asking me!"
Now for other things about the night:
+Good music, I really liked it.
+Saw Shane. He was really nice to me.
+ Isaac was Royalty, also saw their group at our restaurant, and it was kind of awkward city.
+ Ben (this kid who accidentally touched my boob, and then went around and told a bunch of people at the cast party about it) had the same outfit as Alex.
+Once afterprom was over, and I won something (a make up kit, which I traded for a chipotle gift card, which I traded for an Itunes giftcard.) we left, I took laura moodie home, and then met everyone at Denny's.
+ After some hashbrowns and chatting with Branson and Tiana and Ben, and Phil and lauren and Emily and Jakey and Miranda, I went home and slept until 3 this afternoon. and now I'm here.
THE END : )
Prom is Saturday. hopefully the snow complies. . .
I'm gonna punch our Manager in Training. Jeanie. boo.
I kind of want to sit around and watch movies for a while. too much social stuff sometimes.
Buh. I'm SO CLOSE to being done with high school! THANK THE LORD.
Went sledding today. good times.
Alex and I both told each other about the friend crushes we had on each other! Also, he told me he's super excited for prom. awwwww. what an adorable kid.
And Trevor like, heard me talking about my plan to ask him, but I never said his name, and then he like, came and found me when I was walking to my car to tell me I probably should not ask Isaac to prom. blah blah blah. And I was like this: hey, conceited, I wasn't gonna ask him.
Isaac asked a girl named Danielle Brooks to prom, and I'm excited for him. Eff. this whole ordeal has drained me for a good seven months, I think I am legit over it. which is super cool because it also allows me to talk to Isaac and not be a total dork. I was talking to him about his traffic court ordeal. He got three points on his license for driving on the school track. haha. jeeze.
Alex is so adorable though. and I'm really stoked to take him to prom. yay.
I don't know what this entry is going to be about. I'm just gonna type and see what comes out.
Actually, that's what I usually do. huh.
The poetry slam was really good. Made me feel like total shit though, like always. I wish I could write and read like them. . . oh well. I love listening to it so it's cool. Saw Adrienne there. that was awesome. SO STOKED that Mary made the team! Also, Mary's poem for adrienne was Adorable. Even though I laughed, it was really cute.
Preston keeps saying annoying shit like, "If we had met under different circumstances, I'd probably ask you to be my girlfriend." and "I know you have suppressed desires to make out with me but. . . " and the annoying part is this: I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU. E V E R. I mean honestly. no. plus my best friend likes you, and you're just making our friendship awkward. wtf preston.
Tomorrow I'm going to Emily's in the morning for a pancake breakfast since we don't have school until 11:55. CSAP you are my BFF. it'll be fun as long as Preston refrains.
Isaac confuses the shit outa me as usual. Some days I think he really might like me back and other days I think I have no chance. I really wish I could give it up. oy. also, he probably can't come to Scrabble club anymore because he is in track now. Boo.
But. . . Alex Baggett is coming to scrabble now. But he's like a year and three months younger than I am. . . so . I feel like that's a no no. Today Alex harassed me about Sadie's and how the only reason I'm not going is because I "Don't have the balls to ask someone." which is true, but I mostly am not going because Sadie's always sucks. Alex got asked by this girl who he's been friends with for a long time, and he doesn't like her, but she won't give up. I feel sort of bad for both of them. He's going with someone who likes him more than he likes her, and more than is comfortable, and She's going with false hope. so. it's sad. But Alex just got into DSA for acting so that's exciting.
What else. . . what else?
College talk is actually starting to matter now. it's sorta freaking me out. but mostly just making me super excited!
That's it I suppose.
I met this really nice Kid Nick at the party though, so that's good.
We're best friends. I know this because he's in my phone as best friend nick. haha.
Musical has been fun. I'm just really sick of all the songs.
Isaac looked adorable tonight though.
Went to denny's and talked to Keith and Stephanie for a while. then Trevor was a jerk, and I left and drove Dexter home.
CSAP is my hero, cuz I get to sleep in. YES.
I miss pretty much all of you.
Valentines day was bitchin. we went to hooters for preston's birthday, then once katelyn and Katie left we all went to paris on the platte. we were there for SO long. like 3 and a half hours. Dexter preston and I left and went on a few walks out in the cold. dexter and I climbed on shit, and we all three had good heart to hearts (ha, get it? cuz it was valentines day!?!?!). Then I saw Lizzie. woah weird. Like, lizzie, I knew you lived here, but I guess I still didn't expect to see you at places I go? if that makes sense at all. also, I was really really out of it, so sorry I didn't say anything good at all. lame city.
I'm basically getting really mad that Emily h. basically stole preston and dexter. I know that sounds MEGA immature, because it is. I don't care. I never hang out with them anymore, and she's with them 24 7. And being called "bitch-twistle" last night when I said having the same name as emily was too confusing, was not what I meant. like, what the fuck. I've known them both Way longer. emily hated Dexter until like a week ago. . . whatever. It's just frustrating when I want to hang out with them, but I can't . plus Why am I ALWAYS fucking working?! it sucks hard.
Spring break, I wanna come up to CSU again. real bad.
I applied for housing.
I gotta stop agreeing to do shit for EVERYONE. I'm not gonna be able to get any of my shit done today because of it.
